Hi .. and
NO!! I have to say …. I’ve not felt the ‘oh shit’ bug bite me at all!! So exciting.
I’m in the “can’t wait to be done, even though it’s kind of scary to leave without having another job, but what I really want to do is take a year off anyway to … LIVE! TRAVEL! and De-STRESS, so why worry? stage”. It’s a little bit of a battle in the brain, albeit a small one. Un petit peu.
This could be the beginning of my start up … and my immersion into another culture (and it’s language) for a couple months .. which would not only take care of the ‘travel’ part mentioned above, but also it would be a boon for my next job search, whenever, if ever that may be! … Ok, not ‘if’ ever .. definitely ‘whenever’ … I can’t imagine (really) not working. I’ve worked full-time since I was in high school and really — as much as I want to not worry about it … of course I will. Geesh. It just doesn’t feel natural for me not to be employed. But then again .. my work could (and will, in a sense, especially if I do my start up thing) be philanthropy .. right? Is that really work? … I suppose in the way it would occupy my time and my brain it might be considered a job of sorts – but I kind of think it’ll mostly just feel fine and right.
Seriously though, each time something reminds me of the ‘job’ I am leaving … I sigh with relief inside and say “self, that is NOT your problem, let’s pour a glass of wine!” And I do! Ok, I do unless I have to drive somewhere, but today I don’t … so, good for me. Speaking of the red … I mixed an old favorite that I fell out of love with (Adelsheim’s Pinot) with a Grand Vin de Bordeaux – (Chãteau Vrai Caillou ~ Bordeaux Supérieur) which I am very fond of. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel strongly about Adelsheim .. but it’s a strong like now vs love. Weird how that changes. But c’est la guerre, non? Oui!
Maybe I can get through my 7 magazines on the night stand? Perhaps even a couple of the books? I can practice meditation more often and get that baby nailed down so I can turn on the benefits with a blink of an eye, instead of a quizzical stare before I am interrupted by a foreign body (meaning someone other than me or my dogs) in the house.
I do realize that at least 3 of those things that I want to do and have not done, are simply organizational snafus’ of which I am the offending non-doer. But still. Really, I’m hoping to breathe .. and be … and breathe .. until I no longer feel like I have to cram everything into 2 days …
Finishing up with this broken record – the best part will be having (more) real things to write about 🙂
Gonna pour that 2nd glass of my Pinot Bordeaux and pop in a flick.